Community and the Real Me

Somewhere down the line I have picked up the idea that it's only in our time alone that we see what's really inside of our hearts. While fellowship is important, it's in the alone times that we get the most authentic glimpse of who we are on the inside. Many a teenager has returned from a Christian camp or conference after an amazing time of growth, only to be warned that their spiritual high will quickly fade. "As soon as you leave the friends and the fun behind," we tell them, "you'll see how much of that amazing experience was genuine." These are our magical tests of Christian Authenticity: Time spent alone. The daily grind. Isolation from external encouagement.

The challenge becomes this: Can I maintain the life I lived for Jesus in the midst of the worshiping crowds when it's just me in my bedroom? Can I make choices for Holiness on both Sunday and Monday mornings?

It's true that there is often times a difference in our behavior depending on whether or not we're alone. That's a given. The majority of my choices to sin happen when I'm alone. There's no denying that the internal, secret life is important to address. My problem is that we've come to believe that being alone is the test of an authentic heart.

Let's say that I go to a prayer meeting with my friends and sing my heart out to the Lord in worship. I encourage the others, graciously serve my brother, and am fascinated by the Word. Then, the next morning, I am alone. I ignore the Word and watch TV instead. I don't serve my brother - I get careless with my eyes in lust. I tolerate slander and envy in my thinking. I entertain and enjoy my sin.

Here is the question: Which person is the real me - and why?

Most of us would be quick to say that the times when we are alone demonstrate who we truly are. We are quick to point to our secret habits as evidence that we haven't quite "arrived." We feel two-faced and hypocritical in a crowd. When we love God in a group we feel like it's somehow cheap or fake. In fact, we're suspicious of ever embracing what God does in our hearts until we see how it plays out when we're alone. If you can't walk it out in your personal life, it's not really "in" you. Keep trying.

I think a lot of damage has been done by believing this stuff. If our time alone is the only situation in which we are authentic before God, what is the Body for? If this is true, then Church becomes nothing but a weekly meeting for hypocrites. If this is true, we suddenly have need to repent of fellowship.

Could it be that we actually see a more authentic self in times of community? In reality, our friends help us to be our true selves. They reach down and help us to live from the good that is already a reality in our hearts. They remind us over and over who we really are.

Never think that your Christianity isn't real unless you can pull it off in secret. Your secret life is important, but your life in community really does count. God himself is a fellowship of Persons. We are a community of believers. I need you to help me be real. It's an authentic, genuine thing to walk with others. You are not a crutch to me - you are a brother or sister that sharpens me like iron on iron.