Loving with an Open Grip

While I'm inclined to agree with a certain friend of mine who holds the opinion that C.S. Lewis is over-rated, I just finished one of his books that I really enjoyed (and by the way, it's not that we feel that Lewis is bad... just slightly over-celebrated in general).

Anyhow, the book is a novel called Till We Have Faces: A Myth Retold. A really great friend of mine recommended it to me years ago, and a few months back I spotted it in a bookstore and took it home for the holidays.

Sparing most of the details, it's an adaptation of the classic myth of Cupid and Psyche, only re-vamped and packed full of Christian symbolism. It's not to the extent of the Narnia books - to where it becomes allegorical - but I like the more subtle, adult feel of the book. You have to dig for the symbolism a little more (unlike his Narnia books where Aslan is always the Christ figure, for example).

The most interesting progression in the book is watching the main character shift in her relationship with her sister. In the beginning, their friendship is healthy and loving, but along the journey envy and rejection creep in until there is no longer love - only a suffocating possessiveness that leads to hurt and misunderstanding. Lewis is quite good at portraying the elusive and gradual nature of the shift from love to jealousy. It's not as if one particular event sealed the deal - but rather a series of small, relatively "minor" things paved the road of rejection.

It's a good reminder of how subtlely our love can change from genuine care for others into a possessive craving to be loved at all costs. It's tough to love in such a way that it is "hands off." To never manipulate a friend's service to you, never claim ownership over another, and never suspiciously demand to see the proof of their friendship to you. That sort of "love" is nothing but a possessive form of mistrust disguised as loyalty.

Lord, keep me from the kind of "loving" that hinders true friendship. Keep me from the kind of "love" that seeks to indebt others into loving be back. Let my love be free of charge (as yours is), trusting in your ability (and desire) to meet my needs.