Well, after months of transition I find myself sitting here in the prayer room at IHOP. I drove out here with two friends on Thursday, and since then I have already purchased a cell phone, narrowed down a place to live, and have a strong lead on a job too. I've caught up with some dear friends, eaten some great KC BBQ, attended some great worship sets, and even won a few games of speed scrabble.
So how's my heart?
It feels very strange to be here. Feels like I'll be hitting the road tomorrow with my friends and leave to return to Ohio - but I won't. Here I will stay: just a small town boy in the big city. It was exciting to see God's provision today and to see and hear things that make me think that there is "something" for me here in this next season. But I feel embarrassed in a way for not knowing what those plans are. At my job interview today he asked me where I saw myself in five years. A very tough question for me. I feel almost empty in the ambition department (which could be good or bad...). One thing that comforts me, however, is that although we talk endlessly of "callings" and "destiny," Jesus talks about these things relatively little. He didn't often speak to his disciples about walking out a calling, but rather he asked them to put down the nets and follow him. I'm slowly learning to just walk and trust Jesus when he says that my fruit will remain when I choose love. Being able to trust is eternally more valuable than experiencing clarity. Still, that's a hard conviction to live out.
So I find myself here, blowing in the wind a little. We'll see what happens.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Way to go Dave! IHOP is a great ministry.
I would encourage you though to have a set plan as you are out there. There are a number of people I've interacted with here that just came out here to Charlotte to be a part of a ministry (MorningStar, Fire, ZHOP, etc...) but no idea what they're doing. Most of them end up doing pretty bad, and many return home.
Bethany and I came out here with a set plan on what we were doing, and in the process the plans have changed. It's easier to change the course of a train that is moving than a train that is stationary.
Post a Comment